Trumpaca Privacy Policy

Trumpaca European Union compliant Privacy Policy Statement. You read carefully, or Trumpaca sue.

Trumpaca provide Privacy Policy Statement to help you understand how Trumpaca collect, use, and protect information when visit Trumpaca expect you to read document thoroughly, even if never read Privacy Policy you encounter on other website… ever. Trumpaca under legal threat from BigWig in Brussels, so read damn document, unless no care about

Make Trumerica GREAT again!

Trumpaca committed to respect privacy and to comply with data protection and privacy law of European Union – unless buck to be made – despite fact that Trumpaca only interested in “Make Trumerica GREAT again!” Puny European continent of no concern to Trumpaca. It technologically stunted and Medieval, therefore not important. However, you access Trumpaca website from European Union, so Trumpaca legally obliged to make you read Privacy Statement. 

Trumpaca use of information he collect about you when visit Trumpaca Website nothing compared to way NSA or GCHQ collect from Internet Service Provider before you arrive. However, Trumpaca governed by publicly posted Privacy Policy Statement, because it Privacy Statement posted publicly on Trumpaca website. Er…

OK… Trumpaca want to conform to Europe law, but this not make sense. Maybe EU bureaucrat have too much free time on hands. Get bored. Make work for self and everyone. Of course Trumpaca governed by Trumpaca website privacy policy. That why Trumpaca post privacy policy on Trumpaca website in first place. Why EU bureaucrat make Trumpaca put nonsensical/superfluous* statement into Privacy Policy?

Maybe EU bureaucrat do this for bet? Win twenty buck from UKIP Parliament Member for make everyone life difficult.

Trumpaca confused… because EU say “Trumpaca Privacy Policy Statement must be read in conjunction with Trumpaca Terms & Conditions of Use of Trumpaca Website, and will form part of such Terms & Conditions of Use between Trumpaca and User”.

But inauguration only short time ago, so Trumpaca only serve First Term, and Trumpaca only Condition Tennis Elbow, so not know what EU talking about.

You read Trumpaca policy; you leave Trumpaca to do job, Make Trumerica GREAT again! It simple… Even if you Trumerican expatriate in Liechtenstein.

How Trumpaca collect Personal Information

Trumpaca collect personal information when you send Trumpaca personal information by means of Trumpaca website. You no send Trumpaca personal information, Trumpaca no collect. You send Trumpaca personal information, Trumpaca has inheritance for you from long lost Trumerican uncle…

If interested in claiming Inheritance, send full name and postal address, date of birth, gender, email, bank account, and phone number. Trumpaca help you claim long lost uncle inheritance. You no give Trumpaca information, Trumpaca no help you claim.

How Trumpaca Use Your Information 

You give Trumpaca information, Trumpaca help you claim inheritance. You and Trumpaca become rich… very rich. Inheritance $50,000,000. We split.

Trumpaca need proof of identity before respond to any request about Inheritance Proposal, as impossible for Trumpaca to open bank account for you without proof.

How Trumpaca give Information to other People

Trumpaca no disclose information you give Trumpaca, unless not interested in inheritance proposal, If not interested in claim inheritance, Trumpaca pass information to Cameroon Navy for Economic Investment Purposes. Cameroon Navy sell frigate to Somali pirates, need help to launder moneys. Trumpaca also pass to friends and family for Prank SMS Purposes.

Your Rights in Trumerica

You have problem, you write to Trumpaca. You write long, detailed, explanatory letter and send through mail. Toilet paper scarce in Trumerica.

You write, ask for information Trumpaca store about you, Trumpaca respond with elaborate explanation why Trumpaca not find in his computer system. Trumpaca sorry. Trumerican Internet not like European Internet. Cloud only reliable during rainy season. If not satisfied with Trumpaca handling of information, write to:

John R. Chapman
NSA Chief FOIA Public Liaison Officer/DJ4
9800 Savage Road, Suite 6248
Ft. George G. Meade, MD 20755-6248


Quote name and address, so NSA find file on you easier. Spy Satellite take about two hour to align over house. Local NSA office take about three hour to deploy field agent. Trumpaca grateful if keep Trumpaca name out of conversation with NSA. Trumpaca in enough trouble with FBI without NSA snooping.

You trust Trumpaca

Trumpaca want you to know that communication over Internet not secure unless they encrypted. Even if encrypted, NSA, FBI, and GCHQ have most decryption key. Let Trumpaca rephrase: Communication over Internet not secure… period.

The form of security Trumpaca website use, Plain Text. This is method of not hiding information your web browser and Trumpaca web server send to each other. Plain Text connection use no encryption to scramble data you send to Trumpaca website. Save bandwidth so NSA take less time to see what you look at. This standard method with most website in twenty-first century.

Your Choice about Cookie

You no have choice about Cookie. You no understand; you no know where to look for change setting. If have problem with this, write to address above. Remember to keep Trumpaca name out of conversation.

If find right option and choose to reject all cookies, you Un-Trumerican. Trumpaca rely on you watch advert to balance budget. You not patriot. Trumpaca get passport number and location from Trumerica Secret Police.

Trumpaca Use of Cookie

When use Trumpaca Website, cookie is set and accessed by Trumpaca for number of purposes, including to:

  • access information to see if amenable to Inheritance Proposal;
  • identify if Trumerican Secret Service have dissident file on you;
  • let Trumpaca keep track of location, so he find you easier if not agree with Trumpaca views;
  • allow Trumpaca to see who you talk to online;
  • see if known associate disagree with Trumpaca policy

Trumpaca website not use cookie to verify target for CIA Hit-Squad or to share information with other government agency, unless Trumpaca forced to at gunpoint, or unless Trumpaca paid big bucks to disclose.

Trumpaca Website serve Google Analytics Cookie

In addition to own and Trumerica Secret Police Cookie, Trumpaca site serve Google Analytics cookie to user browser. Google Analytics Cookie harmless. Google no disclose user information to NSA, or GCHQ, or other Spy Agency. You no worry. Spy Agency  already has information long before Google get.

Third Party Website

Trumpaca not responsible for privacy policy and content of third party website even if you find link to third party website on Trumpaca site. Trumpaca wash hands. It no Trumpaca problem how you use Internet. It no Trumpaca problem if you no care about privacy and security.

Trumpaca recommend you check privacy policy you reading right now, again, later. It very clear. Trumpaca also recommend you check Privacy Policy of all third party website you visit, and contact owner or operator of third-party website if have problem or question. This how Internet really work. This how you keep private. This Information Super Footpath.

Trumpaca here for you

Actually, Trumpaca not. Trumpaca reserve right to change Privacy Policy without notice. You no read this document every time visit Trumpaca site, you screwed because Trumpaca sue for not read. If read document every time you visit Trumpaca site, ensure to re-read Privacy Policy again every few minutes, otherwise miss policy update and be in breach of Trumpaca Term and Condition that not exist. Trumpaca update without notice. You no read, Trumpaca sue.

If Trumpaca catch you in breach of Privacy Policy, Trumpaca also make you listen to Inheritance Proposal again.

If have question about Trumpaca data protection and privacy policy or practice, write to:

John R. Chapman
NSA Chief FOIA Public Liaison Officer/DJ4
9800 Savage Road, Suite 6248
Ft. George G. Meade, MD 20755-6248


Remember keep Trumpaca name out of conversation.

* Trumpaca have BEST Words…